And today - well I spent the majority of this morning just completely overwhelmed by God. Like Holy Spirit-snotty-type tears all morning with the kids & Brandon fluctuating from staring at me to wanting to hug me to laughing at me. I'm a blubbering mess. God is just so OVERWHELMING. And I'm just so THANKFUL.
Over the past year in particular through the shingles, mental and physical challenges, God has grown my faith in HIM. Our Father is so patient, SO loving - more than we can even begin to comprehend. He is Holy, Righteous, Perfect, Kind, Gentle. He IS El Shaddai - God Almighty! He knows exactly how to correct us, lead us, parent us, communicate to us and His work will be done in us. HE is trustworthy!! He is ALL we need. It truly is all about HIM and His sovereignty.
I praise and thank Him so fervently for breaking my faith in MYSELF and allowing me to go through the pain of humbling correction and discipline so I could have faith in HIM and boast in HIM in my weaknesses. I am so aware of my shortcomings & they are staggering. I am so thankful He was willing to let me go through the pain of breaking my confidence in myself.... so I could be given something better... faith in HIM.
I absolutely knew back in February that He was asking me to homeschool and I absolutely knew that *I* could not do it. BUT HE has built my faith in HIM so much and I know that He can do anything!! I know that the peace evidenced in me is testimony to Him. I am not a peaceful person! Any other year I would be TOTALLY stressed and anxious about this decision. But HE is the perfect Father and HE changes us!
He is the God of angel-armies who is always by my side. He is El Roi the God who sees me! He is Yahweh, Jehovah - the God who needs nothing and always has been. He changes everything!
Too much of my life has been spent in FEAR. And I praise God He has freed me from the chains of fear by changing my FOCUS. He has woo'd me with His kindness & He has shifted my eyes, continually telling me as He has throughout history - look up my child. Look at me. Look at ME. LOOK. AT. ME.
When we are focused on the Father - Elohim (the strong Creator) - Adonia (the Lord) - KING Jesus - He gifts us FAITH.
When we are focused on ourselves (our plans, our muscle, our pride) - we become crippled by fear.
When we are focused on others (what they think of us, how we look to them) - we become crippled by fear.
Eyes on Him, faith.
Eyes on me, fear.
Changing our focus, changes everything.
HE truly can do ANYTHING. So if He has called me to do something - I can TRUST & OBEY..... because it is not about ME. It is NOT about what *I* bring to the table.
The only question is, "is this what you are asking me to do, Lord?" When that question is answered.... we have all the information we need.
If God can change this restless, fearful, anxious heart - He can change anybody!!! He has given me faith in place of fear. He has given me so much PEACE in place of worry.
HE is my KING and the KING takes care of His people!!! He owns this! He takes care of this. His loving, gentle Shepherding hand has been so obvious in my life and I am overwhelmed. Undeserving. So amazed!!
When we need faith - He will gift it.
When we need rest - He will give it.
When we need courage - He will build it up in us.
HE is EVERYTHING.
So be of good courage! And do whatever God is asking of you! Be strong in the Lord, not yourself. Is not about you but ALL about God! He is always at work. He is King! He will take our imperfect efforts & turn them into the most beautiful stories!!! <3
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