Week # 1

I am sure I will remember forever our first day of homeschooling.  It was such an awesome day.  I woke up with so much joy and thankfulness.  I was just REJOICING!    God is so good.  This is such a DREAM to me.  A dream I couldn't even imagine, really.   His gifts are better than we can think up!    I really believe the Lord is so delighted as He watches us unwrap the presents He gives.  He is the perfect Father.   :)

We THANK YOU God for this gift of homeschooling and being present with each other.  THANK YOU for the freedom to teach our children in our home and daily life.  THANK YOU for how you have miraculously prepared me and made this calling possible in my life.    I know this is a miracle that I had the faith not fear to step out and obey you.  Lord, you can change anybody.  You call us then you equip us.  You are El Shaddai, you can do anything!!    THANK YOU for choosing us, calling us and then graciously using us as imperfect as we are!!!  

Each week I am going to choose a verse, old hymn, new praise song & out of the box song (Lecrae mostly) that will coincide with our DREAM Academy rule or character trait we are focusing on that week.  I LOVE how God leads our children and teaches them.   I pray for each thing I choose/do with teaching them and then make a simple choice without agonizing over it....and then I watch Him work.  And He always does!  He really just so beautifully links all the songs, Bible teachings, devotions, experiences of the week.  He has been doing this so long in our home as we teach the children about Him and about life..... so adding in extra rules, and different subjects just is a smooth transition.  :)

He truly is the best teacher and is so capable.  We can trust Him!  He is already working in our hearts & lives every moment -- we just have to be open to it.  Obey Him.  Go when He calls.  Stop when He says to stop.  Look when He says to look.  Listen when He pricks up our heart-ears.  Just FOLLOW Him and His gentle shepherd's nudging.

Here was the white board for week 1. We focused on doing ALL things for the King...to go along with DREAM Academy Rule # 1 - Always Do Your Best.  Raymond really connected all this together & when he got weary or sloppy, a quick reminder of our purpose here and who we are doing this for would sharpen him right back up and motivate him.  I love it!! :)

Our praise song was a praise to acknowledge Jesus as our KING. "Amazing Love. You are my king.  In all we do, we honor you" !!!! :)

They were all so cute, excited & even nervous for the first day.  They were excited to stay in their pajamas and I was okay with that.  :)  After our devotional, prayer & praise time, we went to the school room and Raymond was actually nervous.  It was good to see him reverent and a bit fearful :)  because then I knew that he understood that God had entrusted us with a great gift and with great gifts come great responsibility.  I'm glad he is ready to take this responsibility seriously.

As soon as we prayed again and asked God for peace & strength & fun - we got right to it and Raymond did the calendar & circle up time with the girls.  He sure does love leading & teaching them.

He breezed through the rest of his desk work and I could see his confidence growing each step.  New territory is always a bit scary!  But God helps us keep going!  He got to type his spelling words to family members and all our book work was over so fast!

Here's our 10 rules we will be working on:

Obligatory first day picture :)

And then, the work was done and we could play!  Work hard, play harder!! :)   Evelyn was SO HAPPY that Raymond didn't have to leave this year.  Really, she cried hysterically last year when Raymond left so she was so excited to not have to say goodbye to him.

And one of my major goals for Raymond & I is to not rush through the work just to check it off the list.   That is a temptation for both of us.  I don't want him to fly through school like I did just checking it off.  I want us to enjoy this process of exploring & learning & growing together!  And the first week of school was a great first step in that direction for all of us!! :)

Here's our "Daddy song" aka Lecrae song for the week. God even cares about the little things and He has proven that over over over again to us.  I wasn't sure how I was going to incorporate music into homeschool because I only have the piano & radio & very slow internet in my bedroom :)  but when my in laws were here our DVD player broke and they bought us a blueray player.   And I was so excited a few days before school we realized it plays youtube videos right on TV.  LOVE IT!! :)  This has been a huge blessing to start our day with!!!!  God is so FUN and caring & cares about the details :)

Raymond had music for resource the first day and he drew his first staff & treble clef.  How cool!! :)  I am going to really enjoy re-learning all of life with my kiddos.

and I could not believe it when I looked down at the end of the day and not only had I homeschooled but I had crossed off almost everything I had written down for my daily goals for myself.  WOW!!! :)  what a banner day!!! :)

 I LOVE being able to be home and together!!!!

Every family is so different. Every season of life is so different.  But I KNOW that THIS was the plan God has designed for MY family and I AM THRILLED to uncover it.

I know for so many years God was trying to communicate - just wait my dear daughter - just wait!  Wait until you uncover what I have for you!!  Keep seeking, my sweet girl!!  It will all be worth the wait...worth the molding.    It's going to be so much better than you can imagine.

I believe it, Lord!  The BEST is still yet to come!   Life is so hard and full of so much brokenness, evil, fear  - but you are good,  always and the gifts you have for us are way better than we can even imagine!!! :)

THANK YOU Lord.  Thank you for your mercy mercy mercy.  Undeserved grace grace grace.  Your patience to work with such imperfect people.   You are powerful. You are loving. You are good! You are King!  

Faith Not Fear & Be of Good Courage

Tomorrow - we homeschool.   :)

And today - well I spent the majority of this morning just completely overwhelmed by God.  Like Holy Spirit-snotty-type tears all morning with the kids & Brandon fluctuating from staring at me to wanting to hug me to laughing at me.  I'm a blubbering mess.  God is just so OVERWHELMING.  And I'm just so THANKFUL.

Over the past year in particular through the shingles, mental and physical challenges, God has grown my faith in HIM.  Our Father is so patient, SO loving - more than we can even begin to comprehend.  He is Holy, Righteous, Perfect, Kind, Gentle.   He IS El Shaddai - God Almighty!  He knows exactly how to correct us, lead us, parent us, communicate to us and His work will be done in us. HE is trustworthy!!   He is ALL we need.   It truly is all about HIM and His sovereignty.

I praise and thank Him so fervently for breaking my faith in MYSELF and allowing me to go through the pain of humbling correction and discipline so I could have faith in HIM and boast in HIM in my weaknesses.  I am so aware of my shortcomings & they are staggering.  I am so thankful He was willing to let me go through the pain of breaking my confidence in myself.... so I could be given something better... faith in HIM.    

I absolutely knew back in February that He was asking me to homeschool and I absolutely knew that *I* could not do it.  BUT HE has built my faith in HIM so much and I know that He can do anything!!   I know that the peace evidenced in me is testimony to Him.  I am not a peaceful person!  Any other year I would be TOTALLY stressed and anxious about this decision.  But HE is the perfect Father and HE changes us!

He is the God of angel-armies who is always by my side.  He is El Roi the God who sees me!  He is Yahweh, Jehovah - the God who needs nothing and always has been.  He changes everything!

Too much of my life has been spent in FEAR.  And I praise God He has freed me from the chains of fear by changing my FOCUS.   He has woo'd me with His kindness & He has shifted my eyes, continually telling me as He has throughout history - look up my child.  Look at me.  Look at ME.  LOOK. AT. ME.

When we are focused on the Father - Elohim  (the strong Creator) -  Adonia (the Lord) - KING Jesus - He gifts us FAITH.

When we are focused on ourselves (our plans, our muscle, our pride) - we become crippled by fear.
When we are focused on others (what they think of us, how we look to them)  - we become crippled by fear.

Eyes on Him, faith. 
Eyes on me, fear. 

Changing our focus, changes everything. 

HE truly can do ANYTHING.   So if He has called me to do something - I can TRUST & OBEY.....  because it is not about ME.   It is NOT about what *I* bring to the table.

The only question is, "is this what you are asking me to do, Lord?"   When that question is answered.... we have all the information we need.

If God can change this restless, fearful, anxious heart - He can change anybody!!!  He has given me faith in place of fear.  He has given me so much PEACE in place of worry.

HE is my KING and the KING takes care of His people!!! He owns this!  He takes care of this. His loving, gentle Shepherding hand has been so obvious in my life and I am overwhelmed. Undeserving.  So amazed!!

When we need faith - He will gift it. 
When we need rest - He will give it. 
When we need courage - He will build it up in us.
HE is EVERYTHING.  

So be of good courage!  And do whatever God is asking of you!  Be strong in the Lord, not yourself.  Is not about you but ALL about God!  He is always at work.  He is King!  He will take our imperfect efforts & turn them into the most beautiful stories!!! <3

Technology Boundaries

In the past few weeks, we've tackled the too-much-tv habit.... and the too-much-snacking-habit.... but we made NO progress on potty training Annabelle so we are gonna scratch that off the list for a few more weeks.   :)

Starting tomorrow we are getting used to our technology 'boundaries'  that we will keep during the school year.  Which means today I started back to drinking coffee in the morning.  :)  I had cut out coffee for a month but I'm pretty sure I need the caffeine now since technology won't be babysitting as much for me to wake up, etc.

One of the most important lessons I am learning over and over again since deciding to homeschool (and becoming a Mom, really) is that every family is so different!   Different goals, different strengths, different personalities, different philosophies on parenting and life, different weaknesses.  So knowing that -each year, I am getting better at putting on my blinders and just focusing on what works for US.  We are figuring out what it means to live in freedom.  Accepting who we are and doing what works for OUR family!

I've heard that every weakness is simply our strengths taken to the extreme and that is certainly true with technology for Raymond & me.   Raymond & I both have always been tech savvy.  My grandma Evelyn passed on her gift at computers/computer logic to us!  But because we enjoy technology so much and it comes easy to us - it quickly can become a weakness.  With our obsessive personalities, we can easily get sucked in/addicted so easily!   I don't want to teach Raymond that technology is "bad".  I definitely don't want him to feel guilty for enjoying it!!!   I just want to teach him boundaries, priorities, work before play & a good rhythm to daily life! 

For whatever reason, Raymond & I both thrive with boundaries (aka "rules") for technology.  In some areas, it's just smart to put up boundaries, I guess.  Boundaries are a blessing not a burden when you are not legalistic!!  It's all about the heart. We are learning to be thankful for boundaries.   

It's easier for both of us if we have certain times that technology is completely off limits.  When it's completely off limits then it's completely OFF our mind so we don't even have to waste mental space thinking about it or thinking when we can use it again. With technology, I have noticed that if we feel the freedom to use it whenever, it quickly becomes our "default" and that is not okay.   The default has to be engaging with God & each other & life around us - not technology   When things are our default, they quickly becomes an ALL the time thing on our mind.  Boundaries work! :)

I really want to pour into my kiddos & give them my best.  I am so excited for this call to homeschool because it will help me pour into them and be so much more intentional each day with giving them my FULL attention.  This calling has really helped me re-focus in and know that this ministry I have here as wife & mom IS my top calling & is my full time, unpaid job.

I enjoy Instagram, Facebook, blogs - so I won't deny myself the enjoyment!  I just have some new rules to make sure I am engaging with what is MOST important first.  I can not believe how much better our family life is when technology is off the mind.  I can't believe how much better the kids are when I'm fully engaged and don't have a preoccupied mind!!!

I've been doing great at sticking to my Facebook as my coffee lounge twice a week....

http://seedsinmyheart.blogspot.com/2014/06/facebook-is-not-issue-self-is-issue.html

....but the hardest transition this week will be to let go of Instagram during the day.  I am a visual person and I LOVE photographer/beauty so much - but now, it will wait until the afternoon/evening. :)   There's so much beauty & visuals around me - I don't need to peek in on everybody else's world until I've fully lived and been present in mine.

So for anybody who cares.  Here are Mommy's technology boundaries:

• Email, Feedly only after morning time with the Lord before circle up time with kiddos
• Put phone away during teaching times
• Text, phone calls after lunch
• Instagram during afternoon break/evening
• Facebook Tuesday & Friday nights
• Shutterfly/Photo Albums Sundays

Kiddo's technology boundaries:

• TV during afternoon free time
• Computer learning games while Mommy makes dinner
• Kindle / whatever games on Saturday/Sunday afternoons

Pray for me to have an engaged, present mind with my family and for discipline & right priorities!! :)

Daddy's New Schedule!

There's lots of change happening around here!  Daddy B got the call 2 weeks ago that he will be starting 2nd shift (3 to 11 ish ?) tomorrow.

Back in February, I just had this GUT feeling that God was asking me to homeschool starting this fall but I didn't have a clear WHY.  I wrote a whole list of reasons it would make sense but more than anything, I felt God asking me to just TRUST and OBEY without fully understanding.   We knew what He was asking us - so of course we would obey.  He had given us so much FAITH in HIM this year - it wasn't as difficult a step out of the boat as I imagined.    Only after we said "YES God"  did He start to really show us WHY He was having us do this.   There are so many reasons I see now, WHY this will work for us - but this latest schedule change for Brandon is certainly one of the big WHYs!!

We would have been devastated if Brandon got called to 2nd shift and Raymond was set to go to school full time.  If Raymond was in school all day & Brandon was in school all afternoon/evening,  they would only see each other on weekends and that just doesn't work for my boy.  He needs his Daddy time in this majority-girl-house.

Looking back, I am SO THANKFUL that God gave me the courage & faith to obey Him without fully understanding!!!   HE KNOWS US SO WELL!! He is the perfect Father!!  He knew that I would want TIME to prepare & research & pray & plan.   I'm so thankful the decision to homeschool wasn't a spur of the moment thing 3 weeks before school started when Daddy got moved to 2nd shift.   It would have felt rushed & rash & I would have doubted & wrestled so much.  God is so good to make this such a beautiful transition. I am so thankful I talk to Him every day and listen for His calls & nudges.

Life is gonna be so different for us now.....but this really is a huge blessing for as long as it lasts.  I had a big list of things I've been praying for God to work out for homeschooling.   Logistics like:

• Raymond easily going to a friend's houses each week so the girls and I could continue BSF together on Wednesday mornings
• That I would figure out how to keep Annabelle occupied & engaged so I could zoom in on Raymond & Evelyn (who WILL sit and listen to me and work at a desk with me) 
• That I would still get 1 on 1 time with each child --- quality FUN 1 on 1 time each day 

So WOW - I didn't have to worry at all!! :)   God was trying to tell me that all along!   Brandon being home in the mornings answers each of these prayers.  

God knows us so well! He is so merciful & gracious.  He is the perfect planner & perfect Father.

I am so thankful He prepared us this year to have faith in HIM and not ourselves (which gave us the courage, peace & trust to obey)  
I am so thankful we were so close to Him so we knew His voice when He called us to homeschool.
I am so thankful He helped us obey Him!  
I am so thankful for the gift of FAITH and TRUST.

We will accept this schedule for as long as God sees fit and when it's time for Brandon to finish his MBA & switch careers and get back to a "normal" schedule... we will trust God's timing for that, too!!

God helps us Trust & Obey!!

Do I have a bad attitude about bad attitudes????

There's 2 weeks left until homeschooling starts!!!! :) Here is what I'm thinking about....

The parenting book that I recommend more than any other is Good & Angry by Scott Turansky & Joanne Miller.  One of my favorite chapters includes this challenging question:

"What is your attitude toward bad attitudes?"

When your child is imperfect in any one of the millions of ways that we can be imperfect as humans..... what is your most consistent response?  

Is it fear?  When you see an imperfection such as a bad attitude in your child, do you begin to right away have anxiety & worry & fear?  Fear of what to do next?  Fear of losing control of them all together?   Fear that you are failing as a parent?  Fear that your child is "really bad" or something is "really wrong" with them?   

Is it anger?   Do you immediately lash out?  React?  Do whatever it takes to overpower their attitude with your own?  

When an imperfection is seen, does a laundry list of OTHER imperfections you have seen that day (or week or month or life!?)  flood your mind and evoke so much emotion that you feel bitterness or despair or frustration or even rage? 

Are you annoyed that they are interrupting your day with an imperfection??? Are you irritated that you have to interrupt your perfect day to bother correcting them, helping them or "dealing with them"??? 

Our attitudes about our children's bad attitudes (and other imperfections) say a lot about our hearts.

Imagine instead of fear or frustration or annoyance or anger, that we could see imperfection as an opportunity.  A beautiful chance to see into the window of our child's perspective.  An opportunity.  Not an annoyance.  

An opportunity. Because God has trusted us with our child's imperfection.  

How we react to our child's imperfection says a lot about our spiritual maturity and what we believe about our heavenly Father's heart. 

God has trusted us as mothers by giving us discernment to see symptoms of our children's mindset & perspective. And these symptoms are God's red flag to us to pray, move TOWARD our children and connect with their hearts. 

Every sin we see is an opportunity to connect to God's heart first, our own heart second and our child's heart third.   This does not mean we confront every sin we see in our child.  Sometimes, when we see an imperfection, we connect with the Lord, He calms our heart and He gives us grace & mercy and we forgive right then without words.  We stay connected to our child's heart without them even knowing sometimes.   

We are called to be our children's coaches, cheerleaders, helpers, encouragers, teachers.  We are not to be their opponent.   

We are to rely on God to give us HIS love for our children.    God's Spirit of Love that is in us and helps us is a Spirit of self control, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness & kindness. 

Mommies & Daddies - we must stop being hypocrites.   Our children see our hearts of fear, despair or rage.  They feel our bitterness or annoyance.  They are watching!  They are learning what a parent does when an imperfection is seen.   Are you reflecting the Father's heart to them?   Let the message they see be one that connects them to the Fathers heart of mercy & grace AND truth & righteousness.   

We are not perfect and our Father for eternity is so patient & kind with us!   Firm, yes.  Gentle, yes.   Kind, yes.  Harsh, no.  Desperate, no.  Patient, yes.  Merciful, yes. 

Be of good courage, Mommies!  Do not fear!  Do not be discouraged.  GOD is the shepherd of our children's hearts and HE IS doing a good work in there!  Pray pray pray for God to help you get over your bad attitudes about your children's imperfections. 

Ask God to reveal to you how HE deals when He sees yours!   

And don't be surprised when He reveals to you the terrible attitude you have toward bad attitudes.   Don't be shocked when the way He parents & corrects YOU is by showing you lots of imperfections in yourself and your children - so that you can practice practice practice choosing faith not fear.  Choosing prayer not rage.  Choosing kindness not harshness.  Choosing correction not punishment.  Choosing coaching not fighting.     

We have so many opportunities a day to connect to His heart, our heart, their hearts.  Let's do what we can to throw away LESS opportunities tomorrow! 

Food Updates / Bribing vs.Molding / Thoughts Captive / Internal Healing

Food Updates
The kids did so great this week letting me lead the day more and start to add more structure. It was so much better than expected!  I had images of them needing constant correction and distraction from the kitchen but it seems proven again, that my kids like knowing the expectations and thrive on routines & structure.  Annabelle was the only one who had to be reminded many times it wasn't time to snack but she also just in general snacks more than they do!  She eats such good hearty meals even with her snacking so I just chalked it up to a growth spurt and let her have at least one extra snack time a day and that's okay.  There's always some gracious flexibility in rules. :)

Bribing vs. Molding

I had a hard revelation this week as I processed through some parenting lessons with my ladies group.  We are reading the book Good & Angry which I have been recommending for years!!!  (LOVE THIS BOOK)   I was convicted that too often, for too long I have not been correctly appealing to Raymond's conscience.  Instead of teaching him about right and wrong and focusing on how others are affected or the principle underlying WHY this is right or wrong... I've often just focused on WHY he should do what I'm saying... and I've made it all about what's in it for him.   Also know as bribing.... ouch!   I was shocked when I started recording how often I do this.  I can not believe how easy it is for us to feed into our child's selfishness.  This is such an effective tool to get them to do what you want - but it does no good for their hearts!!!

Here are some examples:

• Appealing to his selfish nature, bribing:   Raymond, it's time for you to go put on your shoes and brush your teeth and if you keep stalling, you won't get (whatever)..... or...... Raymond it's time for you to go put on your shoes. Obey now and you will get to do technology when we get back..... (I can ever hear the appealing tone I put in my voice like I'm asking him a question vs. giving him an instruction/mission!  Ouch!!)
• Teaching right from wrong:  Raymond we are meeting friends in 15 minutes and we want to be respectful of their time and not be late so it's time for you to put on your shoes & brush your teeth. 

My reasoning for not bringing others into our conversation has always made sense to me - I don't want my children to be people-pleasers and so others-focused like I am.   And I never wanted to use guilt as a motivator....I have tried so hard to avoid using guilt as a way to manipulate.   But I wrongly have gone too far the other direction and have not appealed to his conscience of how his decisions affects others.   The motives for him doing right should not only be for what he will get out of it (reward for right decision, punishment for wrong).    

Reward/punishment is how we train behavior.....but it is not how we mold the heart.  I know God has been using us greatly to mold his heart and focus on the heart. But this is an area we have really let slide and we need to get back on track to work better at building up that moral conscience!  

We should be molding our children's hearts & consciences and teaching them to do what is right, because it's right.   And not do wrong, because it's wrong.  They should process, "I ought to do this because it's the right thing to do"..... They should not process, "I should do this because then I will get my reward"......  They should process, "This is wrong. I should not do this"....... They should not process: "I better not do this because I'm afraid of guilt or punishment"

Pure hearts desire right because they desire to do right.  Pure hearts are not motivated out of fear, guilt or selfishness - they are motivated out of love & character, truth, moral conscience!  

Taking thoughts captive:

While Mommy & Daddy have been taking steps to appeal to the conscience, we've noticed that Raymond really had some terrible grumbling, unthankful, negative, unhappy attitudes going on.   Most of the attitudes stem from discontent.   Like all children (and many adults) he has a really hard time accepting disappointment and focusing on what he does NOT have but wants to have.   I tried to get him to think and focus about all we have to be thankful for and he responded, "Mommy I can not switch my brain.  I can not stop thinking about this thing I want but can't have".    I'm so thankful he is a good communicator most of the time!  That comment sent all kinds of flags up that it's time to remind Raymond of the Spirit God has gifted us and the beautiful power of the Sword!  

We talked about how thoughts affect our attitudes & attitudes affect our actions & how our actions (even if it's just negative noises & grumbling and poor body language) bring either a positive or negative energy into the family and back into our own hearts.   He agreed that he wants to be joyful, happy, content and positive.  He knows that God loves him so much he wants him to be joyful, positive, content.  And Raymond knows what a bad attitude feels like and it doesn't feel good!  We talked about how God changes us and transforms us by changing our thoughts (Rom 12:2) and that He has shown us clearly what He DOES want us to think about (Phil 4).    We were reminded that God has given us a Spirit that can overcome anything and that He has given us authority to reign in our thoughts and redirect them to what He would want us to focus on! 

I notice a real change in Raymond's attitudes already.  It all starts with the renewing of the mind and what we focus on.   

It's been a beautiful week full of breakthroughs & victories - lots of stumbles, too. 

Internal Healing

On a side note, I praise God because I have been praying fervently that He would heal my body before homeschooling started.  I have been enduring pains & symptoms for years - not severe,  but just distracting & frustrating and always getting worse. I believe I have found the root issue. The symptoms I have battled are all externals so I've been trying to treat the symptoms and heal from the outside..... but all along it was an INternal thing!!!  Hello!   

Just like everything else I am learning in parenting and in my spiritual walk....Don't just treat the externals (behavior of our children in regards to parenting, behavior in ourselves in regards to our spiritual walk, physical external symptoms in regards to health)  and try to get rid of them or worse ignore them!   Take them as warning sides that INTERNAL changes are needed...have the courage to confront them face to face instead of run from them....and humbly seek God for internal healing!! 

True, lasting change is always about the heart.  Change always take courage and work!!!  It's always about the internal.  Always about the unseen. THAT has been the lesson of my life the past 8 years!!  

He is El Roi - the God who sees me.  

He is Jehovah Rapha - the God who heals. 

He is the one who rejuvenates our strength and gives us courage to try our imperfect best! 

He is Christ, the King - and to be under His reign is to be free!